Sleepless Sunday

Good evening, Folks.

Let's just say my worries are getting the better of me, tonight. Getting the photography business up and running is just as hard as everyone claims (of course). It feels like I accomplished nothing today because at the end, we are no where closer than yesterday. =[

That aside, I have an obsession with lolita clothing. So much so that I aspire to make myself the clothing. However, the patterns I've scrounged for are mainly in Japanese and about 2 sizes too short.

If I could make myself these clothings, had I the skill and the money for materials, I would be dolled up and decked out as often as possible. Even in cold weather! There are adorable coats to throw over cutsey dresses with bows and frills. It would look like a little girl dressed me up every day as her larger than life toy. And I would relish in every frilly moment.

Granted, I love climbing trees (we should do that tomorrow!) and hiking. Wearing boots and getting dirty! Crawling around on the floor to take pictures or just because the rug looks so inviting when boyo is lying there... temptingly. >}

It's elegant, classy. Cute and reminiscent of more cultured times. The extra few layers would, I feel, inspire manners, doors opened, pleases and thank yous. Others to stand up straighter and smile a bit truer (not only laughing at my frilly cupcake of a self, but because they'd recognize a dream inacted!).

Oh, sleepless dreamer. How your idea(l)s mock you.

Most off, I long to photograph strange scenes in these elegant pieces. With confetti falling, black and white. A bit of hand coloring and a slightly demented feel. Something is... off. No eyes, faceless beauties. Seemingly in ordinary life wandering the streets and unobserved by others. Something is taking place. A lift off the ground. Were those streaks really raindrops? A pastel pink. An all gray world. A vision that haunts me. Needs to get out of my head.

High collared wonders with plumes and tapered legs, sitting in a cafe with her hat askew. Green and black, with wisps of gray frothing from her sleeves and her decorative cup of brew. Stripes, a high backed chair, a discarded parasol. What's happening here? This one is underdeveloped.

I am awake. Yearning to create. Longing to see what I've been seeing in my mind. Create. The clothes, the scene, the mood, your feelings. The photograph.

Everyday has moments I long to capture, had only I the means to not be in my head.